Can it ever be normal?

For the past few days I've been having a "normal" period to give myself a break from the hormones and the Cyklkokapron. In theory it sounded fantastic. Oh my body will have to readjust. Some magical Endo fairies perhaps will have come along and made it all better. I'd like to say I was drunk when I had my profound idea but no, I was in my full senses. What on Earth was I thinking?

I already have pain with the medication I'm on so it seems a little bit Sado-Massicist to want this pain right? That's not what I was going for at all. For so long now I have just been thinking and thinking (in case you're not getting exactly how messed up my head is over this) thinking about ways to allow my body to naturally have a cycle again. You see from all of the treatments I have been on over the years it's knocked me completely out of whack and I am a great believer in "Natural Remedies".

I know, go ahead laugh. Because at times we have no choice but to take these scary GNrH Analogues or have surgery and it's all not very natural. I mean to say given a choice I would lean towards alternative remedies such as herbs, homepathic, TCM and Acupuncture but I do admit that sometimes you have no choice but to go to the hospital as the pain and situation are both too great for you to be waiting to see if a remedy will work.


Thursday and Friday of this week have been my absolute worst. There has been tearing, shredding and back wrenching pain so familiar and yet also new. The boyfriend grows concerned when he sees me in pain like this. Over the years we all become masters at hiding out pain but it does show in the eyes.

I am hyper-anaemic and therefore I get very dark cicrcles under my eyes when Im losing a lot, a sign which doesn't go unnoticed. Then there's the fact that he can just see through me so when he asks I'll give an honest answer.

I've been wondering if there ever will be a pattern I can hold too, some sense of normality or will I just have to keep waiting and wondering when the next haemorrage is going to occur, never knowing if I'm ovulating because 1. My Doctor's can never pinpoint on my blood tests the right time of the month 2. They're not keen to do anymore surgery as they want to preserve my fertility 3. The fertility clinic wont look at me until the Gynae Clinic remove the Endo and get a handle on things there.

I'm in a vicious cycle alright, only there are two puppetmaster's in this show and I think it's time I cut the strings.

Love to my Endo Sister's
XxxxxX

Is a lack of Iodine and a dysfunctional Thyroid to blame?

The thyroid is a small butterfly-shaped gland, located in your neck, wrapped around the windpipe, and is located behind and below the Adam’s Apple area. The thyroid produces several hormones, of which two are key: triiodothyronine (T3) and thyroxine (T4). These hormones help oxygen get into cells, and make your thyroid the master gland of metabolism. 

The thyroid has cells that are the only cells in the body capable of absorbing iodine. The thyroid takes in the iodine, obtained through food or supplements, and combines that iodine with the amino acid tyrosine. The thyroid then coverts the iodine/tyrosine combination into the hormones T3 and T4. The ‘3’ and the ‘4’ refer to the number of iodine molecules in each thyroid hormone molecule. These hormones then act as engines, ensuring that cells get the energy they need to function. 

The thyroid does not work in isolation, it is part of a comprehensive hormonal feedback process, which goes like this. The hypothalamus in the brain releases something called Thyrotropin-releasing Hormone (TRH). The release of TRH tells the pituitary gland to release something called Thyroid Stimulating Hormone (THS). This THS, circulating in your bloodstream, is what tells the thyroid to make thyroid hormones and release them into your bloodstream. 

Once released by the thyroid, the T3 and T4 hormones travel through the bloodstream. The purpose is to help cells convert oxygen and calories into energy. So when the thyroid is not functioning properly, then insufficient levels of these active hormones are released into the bloodstream, which in turn leads to poor conversion in the cells into energy. This is what causes the lethargy and tiredness associated with hypothyroidism, along with other symptoms. 

This subject of converting oxygen and calories (from food) into energy, links into the subject we have recently covered in Endo of Endo, about the vital importance of having sufficient oxygen in the body to maintain optimum health. As we are gradually being depleted of vital oxygen levels in the atmosphere, and oxygen levels in the body, and added to this the growing numbers of people suffering from thyroid imbalances, serious ill-health is destined to follow. Oxygen intake and oxygen synthesis in the body is paramount for good health. 

Causes of Thyroid Disease

There are various factors that can contribute to the development of thyroid problems:

• Radiation treatment
• certain drugs, such as lithium and the heart drug cordarone, can cause hypothroidism
• exposure to certain chemicals
• living near a nuclear plant
• iodine deficiency - poor diet
• heavy smoking
• being female/ over 60/ other family members have thyroid problems
• near menopause

Hypothyroidism - what is it?

Hypothyroidism is commonly known as having an under-active thyroid. Hyperthyroidism (note the tiny change in spelling) is an overactive thyroid, and is not as common as an under-active thyroid. In hypothyroidism, the thyroid is not producing enough thyroid hormone. This may be due to auto-immune disease which makes it under-active, radiation or drugs that have partially or fully disabled the thyroid, or surgical removal of all or part of the thyroid. The most common cause of hypothyroidism is an auto-immune condition known as Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis, in which antibodies begin to attack the thyroid and gradually make it inactive. 

There is much speculation that endometriosis could be an auto-immune disease, and the added development of certain thyroid diseases in women with endometriosis seems to make sense of both conditions developing - as both conditions relate to the immune system, and both relate to delicate hormonal balancing acts! 

Symptoms of Hypothyroidism

The symptoms of hypothyroid depend on how severe the imbalance is in the thyroid, your age, your general level of health (enter endometriosis into the equation!), and how hypothyroidism affects you uniquely. In general the common symptoms are:

• fatigue
• weight gain
• low motivation
• heat and or cold intolerance
• headaches and migraines
• dry skin, hair and brittle nails
• irritability, anxiety, and panic attacks
• decreased memory and concentration (poor oxygen levels in the cells)
• constipation, irritable bowel
• low sex drive, insomnia
• allergies, slow healing, acne

Of course, the big problem here is that many of these symptoms are the same or similar to the symptoms associated with endometriosis. The best course of action, in the first place, is to get tests to check the levels of hormones being produced by your thyroid. If they are low and caused by an iodine deficiency, you can increase your intake of iodine through diet or natural supplements, like kelp. 

If test reveal that your thyroid problem is more serious then further treatment will be needed. If your thyroid problem is due to hormonal imbalances then it is possible to get your hormones in check through alternative therapies. For more serious problems, like cancer, then radical treatment may be called for, which is usually surgery to remove the thyroid. But even these cases are not beyond the reach of help through alternative therapies. 

Endometriosis and the Thyroid

In one particular medical survey, 42% of women with endometriosis had an under-active thyroid gland. This figure is usually 5% in the general population. It also appears that thyroid antibodies are higher in women with endometriosis, which is an indication of hypothyroidism. 

Dr. Lee (the pioneer of Natural Progesterone Cream treatments) reasoned that thyroid and estrogen oppose one another. Estrogen causes your food intake to be stored as fat in the body. Thyroid hormone causes fat to be burned as energy. When a woman is estrogen dominant this will encourage further development of fat build-up. This constant opposition between the two hormones would lead to symptoms of hypothyroidism for women with estrogen dominance. 

When Dr. Lee treated women with Natural Progesterone Cream for PMS, who also had suspected hypothyroidism, he found that their hypothyroid symptoms disappeared. This success was due to correcting the levels of estrogen by the use of progesterone cream. This implies that too much estrogen in the body interferes with thyroid hormone action. 

The significance of this imbalance in hormones (between the thyroid hormone and estrogen) for women with endometriosis, is that if the estrogen dominance is addressed through treatment to increase progesterone (with natural progesterone cream), then many symptoms can be alleviated. This is especially relevant of the draining symptom of constant tiredness, that nearly all women with endometriosis seem to suffer from. In essence, it appears that women with endometriosis do not have hypothyroidism - what they are suffering from is probably a disturbance of the activity of their thyroid caused by estrogen dominance.

But, do not forget that iodine shortage in your diet can also cause malfunction of the thyroid. If your diet is dairy free (which it should be), you are not using iodised salt (which is not good for you), your diet is mainly vegetarian, or your diet does not include fish (which unfortunately contains high levels of PCBs and other toxins like mercury), then your iodine intake will probably be low. 

As well as supplements like Kelp tablets, you can include seaweeds and sea vegetables into your diet, which will provide you with excellent sources of natural iodine as well as a power-house of other vitamins and minerals. Nori seaweed can be added to your diet, and the levels of iodine in kombu or hijki are so high, that half an ounce should last you about a year. ( The recommended intake of iodine for adults is 150mcg a day.) You can obtain these sea foods at most health food outlets. There are plenty of resources on the internet - for buying sea vegetables, and for recipes. 

Iodine deficiency and the Thyroid

Your thyroid cannot function without iodine. Without it you will suffer from what is know as "Primary hypothyroisism". A simple folk medicine test will reveal your body's ability to absorb iodine. Dab a one inch diameter spot of iodine on your belly. If it is still there 24 hours later, your body is not absorbing iodine. This can be caused by a deficiency of vitamin A. A Danish study deprived pigs of vitamin A for two weeks. Their thyroid secretion fell by 45%. 
Vitamins needed for Thyroid Hormone Health

Thyroid hormone (TH) production can be compromised by a deficiency of vitamins B2 (riboflavin), B3 (niacin) and B-6. Another problem with low TH is that vitamin B-12 cannot be absorbed unless one has sufficient production of TH. A severe B-12 deficiency could result in anaemia (possibly fatal), mental illness, neurological disorders, neuralgia, neuritis, or bursitis- all symptoms which may be confused with the :normal ageing process. B-12 cannot be produced by your system, you must ingest in your diet or in vitamin supplements. Without adequate TH levels, your body cannot absorb this essential vitamin, no matter how much you ingest. 

For more informarion check out

Vikings, elk and hay oh my!

Yesterday I had possibly the most relaxed family day out I've had in a loong time. For once I was relatively pain free, the sun was shining and everyone was in high spirits.

The boyfriend (above) is a bit of a history buff and when it comes to Viking's he is absolutely enthralled. There was to be a reinactement of "The Battle of Clontarf" in St. Anne's Park, Raheny, Dublin. It was the millenium anniversary and he was not going to miss it. I quite enjoy a good sword/spear fight so I had no qualms about going.

Upon looking out the window yesterday morning he declared "it's a good day for a battle". I felt as if I had stumbled into my very own episode of "Game of Thrones". Let's have at it, I thought. I was delighted when my Sister, my Bobi said she come as she is quite the busy bee, always writing away or attending events or working. It's quite difficult to catch her at times. Then we all three convinced my Mum to join us in our outing.

 "Sure we wont be alive for the next 1,000 year marker". Joyful talk I know but it done the trick.

Brian Boru (High King of Ireland)

The battle itself was incredible involving 700 volunteers from across the globe. We booed and cheered until the final battle call and the dead rose. It was a fantastic display and there was a great turnout. Afterward my Bobi led us to haystack seating areas and pallat tables. Himself and I went for a wander around the Viking village and foraged for food. We ended up all having Elk burgers which went down a treat with everyone.

When I left Mum and my Sis (pic right) sitting down there was a band playing and everything was fairly calm. A half hour later there was hay everywhere. The children had all started to dismantle the haystacks and proceeded to have hay fights. The adults became as bad as the children and before I knew it we were all covered in hay, I even inhaled some.


Just sitting back then I thought, wow this is what it's all about. Just relaxing with family and loved ones. Relaxing, playing, having fun. No one getting cross, just everyone enjoying themselves. It may seem obvious but I think sometimes with this fast paced world we live in it's easy to get bogged down in the hardships we face, the pains we go through and it was just nice if only for the briefest of moments in comparison to the grand scheme of things that we toook time out yesterday to be together and enjoy each other and most of all to make memories.

St. Anne's Park Raheny

We all brought hay home with us. Mum had it in her pockets, it ended up down my top somehow, poor Bobi was covered in it and himself had his fair share. Coco was pleased with his new toy though and ran around chewing it when we came home. Fun times, great memories.

Much love to my Endo Sisters. 

XxxxX

Alternative remedies for chronic pain (1)

Like me I'm sure you've been through the wars with this illness and when it comes to talking about pain relief I'm usually the first one to roll my eyes because not a lot has worked for me. It dawned on me one day that my G.P had put me on medication that's also used for Cancer pain and that kind of freaked me out. I have always had a keen interest in the alternatives to convential medicine. I have tried accupuncture for my Endo with successful results, I must actually make a new appointment. My therapist actually told me that there was a "mass" over my right ovary and after what happened on Tuesday I'm inclined to believe her even more now.

I have also tried herbal and homeopathic remedies. Personally, Chaste Tree (Vitex agnus-castus)

(seeknatural.co.uk)

 and Yarrow (Achillea millefolium),

(Etsy.com)

taken in tincture form can sometimes ease my bleeding and the symptoms of PMS but this does depend on the cycle and what medications I'm taking the effects vary. For my pain I have found that Belladonna works great for me. Its a dangerous herb so do not try to cultivate this yourself. Buy from a reputable health store please.
Herbs like Ginger are great for nausea and Nettle tea is an old remedy my Mum used to give me for cramps. It eased the pain I must say and I was really skeptical at first. Again in depends on your pain levels. We're all different. Nowaday's I wish a cup of Nettle tea would do the trick. But I'll stay positive and kick this Endo in the butt. I don't want to get stuck in the negative pain cycle. It looks a little like this and I'm sure we can all relate to it at some point or another;

You are best to talk to your healthcare professional before beginning any course of herbal or homepathic treatment. 

I've heard many people tell me now aboue TENS machines. I have as of yet to try one out. I think I'll do some research into it and decide then. For now here's a little bit about the TENS machines;

How tens pain relief works

At high and low frequencies, tens machines activate opioid receptors in the central nervous system. Opioid receptors have various functions, including the production of analgesia (pain relief), sedation and euphoria. When a tens machine is turned up to a high pulse rate, it causes neurotransmitters (chemicals) in the spinal cord to send messages to the synapse in the brain. This causes the spinal cord to block the pain gate, by producing pain relief (analgesia). At a low frequency, tens pain relief machines also stimulate serotonin receptors in the spinal cord. This causes serotonin to be released in the brain. Serotonin helps to relieve chronic pain.

How effective are Tens Machines

Various research has shown that using a tens machine is an effective way of easing pain, if it is used correctly. The results vary according to the type of pain. A study done abroad surveyed the effects of tens pain relief for labour pains. 71% of participants said tens machines had provided effective pain relief for their labour pains. Most of the participants said they would use a tens unit for pain relief in the future. For more TENS machine info, go here  http://www.tensmachines.ie/

Scared yes, foolish perhaps, stubborn most definitely.

Hi all, forgive my absence I've been having a rough time with my Endo of late. So bad that on Tuesday morning I actually gave myself a fright. For a few days previous I had an intense pain in my right side. Not a familiar pain, like a sharp stabbing pain just under my last rib. Too high I thought for it to be connected with my Endo and I had planned to see my G.P Tuesday evening if the pain did not ease. 

{I know many people would say to go straight away to the hospital if you have a sudden intense pain but when you are experiencing pain daily and you are accustomed to a certain amount of unexplained intense pain I think you can become a little bit complacent about things. Well I can only speak for myself but I think this is the reason I don't run to A&E each and every time I've a new pain as I'd be in there every week and that's not the life I choose to live. My apologies if this offends anyone, it's not my intention.}

So with that in mind I was minding my own, doing some chores when all of a sudden this tearing pain just floored me. I mean literally. I fell to the floor with the pain. It shot right through my body, spasmed around my back and even into my legs. I was clutching my abdomen having no idea what was happening to me. It felt at if someone was twisting my ovary and pinching it until finally I felt what I can only describe as a "pop" or a sudden "burst".  The pain lasted several minutes with such an intensity I had to focus on my breathing, using techniques I have learned over the past few years. Of course it would be a day I was at home alone. I couldn't even get to my phone from where I was. I just had to ride the pain out. Those minutes felt like flaming hours. It was intense to say the least and one of the worst pains I've experienced in sometime. 

Ten times worse than this picture could depict. I would have taken the barbed wire I swear. 

When I was finally able to move I noticed there was a lot of blood, clots and tissue has passed. It was a scare to say the least. I must point out that I did not proceed to the Emergency Room. I rang my hospital and spoke to someone from the Gynae Team. I have in my possession Cyklokapron and Primolut and was advised to take these to stop the bleeding as that's really all they would do for in hospital. When I described my symtpoms it was loosely agreed that it was an ovarian cyst that had ruptured. The person I spoke to obviously will not be named and they couldn't assure me that staying at home was my best option. They encouraged me to come in for a scan but having been through this process several times before I felt fairly confidant that the pain would pass with the clots. 

Today I am much better. Even yesterday the pain was completely gone from my right side.

I found out from my pharmacist that the painkillers prescribed my my G.P are no longer on the market as there were not enough people on them. I have decided to return to a homepathic remedy I know well. Touch wood, all is going well today. I managed to get some sleep last night which I really needed and between my boyfriend looking after me, then going to visit my Mum and Sis. I have so much support and I am eternally grateful for them. 

Facing up

I recently was asked to write about my thoughts and emotions whilst going through certain points of my process with Endo and while I thought it would be a natural and easy progression I was ill prepared for the feelings I was about to experience.

As usual when writing I sat down with my cup of decaf coffee and tried to collect my thoughts and pick a starting point.
Do I begin at age eleven with my first period? My years of G.P visit's? The first consultation at the hospital or the day I was diagnosed?  Each moment changed me, shaped who I am and each has its own baggage and emotional attachment obviously. It's just never occurred to me until now that maybe I haven't actually dealt with things in the manner I should have. I have just steam rolled through the years accepting each treatment without question, each surgery without any real thought for what I was signing up to. I mean I never stopped and thought if any of it was the best course of action. I just took the professionals word for gold and never thought to question them.

It seems somewhat wreckless now when I look back. When they did take the time to explain the side effects to me I just nodded like a dog and went along with everything. I'm not too sure exactly what I would change given another chance as this would inevitably change the outcome of everything but I would like to think I would approach the situation with a little more care.

Until now I've not really given much thought to the impact my diagnosis had on my mental health. I just accepted it. It's not as if I had a choice. I wasn't shouting about it from the rooftops but there was nothing I could do to change it so the only option was to put my best foot forward and attack this invader as aggressively as I could. Sure I had horrible days which involved me becoming overwhelmed and I remember one time being placed in a maternity ward in hospital and I found this too much too handle given that I'd been told I would most like never conceive. There were nights I lay awake worrying about what lay ahead for me and times where I acted as if none of it bothered me in order to cope and get on with things.

It's a case of survival I think. We react in a way best suited to our own personal survival and whether or not it's right or wrong isn't really for anyone to say unless of course it's having a really negative effect on our lives or we're acting utterly out of character. Then I would suggest well meaning loved ones intervene at your own risk.

I'm becoming increasingly aware that I've gotten off point and I'm doing it again. A kind if deflection if you will. I will discuss Endo, the symptoms and my pain levels with anyone now. But delving into past memories is incredibly difficult for me and right now I'm not even convinced I can access everything I need to in order to complete this task.

For someone who has, in the past, been described as an over achiever, the level of frustration I am currently experiencing at my own expense grows more infuriating by the day. It's as if some part of myself is preventing me from remembering the emotions attached to the memories. I can quite coldly and fairly calculatedly sum up a serious of events and present them in a factual manner much like giving a report. I essentially remove the human element. (Think I've just hit the nail on the head here) Now to face my fears..... To be continued

Keeping positive

Happy Wednesday everyone! I hope you ladies are hanging in there and staying as strong as I know you can be.

Personally, I'm doing ok. I've had some flare up's over the past few days and again the pain is heavily concentrated on my left ovary but my mind is in a really positive place and I have to admit that it really does help to express it rather than hold it in. Whether it's talking out loud, speaking with my Mum or Sis or even writing it down its proved very useful in the past and especially of late to keep me on track.

Living with Endo can be tiring and difficult at times and trust me it's not always been easy to be bright and bubbly about the situation. I've hit my walls and obstacles but with some support and the determination not to quit I've kept going, moving forward because looking back is ok to learn from but it's not a place we should live in.

I take each day now as it comes and try not to think too far into the future. I've come to realise there are limitations to what I can contribute on my life. Endo certainly isn't one of them. I can seek treatments, take care of myself, mind, body and soul and genuinely keep a positive mindframe. Whether my disease advances or lays dormant isn't something I can control so I'll do what I can, when I can and right now that's working for me.

The days when I'm in pain are annoying, tiring and sometimes quite upsetting but it's only temporary. For me the intensity does pass and while there's day pain you become accustomed to it. We truly have no understanding of what our bodies are capable of tolerating until it has to.

It's not an ideal way of life "living in constant pain" but who's to say what's ideal or not? As long as I can cope I will keep going and having positive people in my life works for me.

Love to my Endo Sister's
XxxxxxX