A smooth sea never made a skillful sailor.

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Sleep is overrated right? I did manage to drift off around 3:00 a.m but then woke up just after 4:15 a.m and could not sleep. I had a pillow under my legs as they kept cramping all night. My calves are literally so sore when I'm moving. Even having then elevated my ankles hurt and then the spasms shoot straight up  my calves. Then there's the thigh pain. Literally, a lot of people don't realise the other aches and pains that get triggered when you're having a flare up. My shoulders feel like I have a bag of potatoes strapped to my bag, especially between the shoulder blades. Tender breasts, not to mention a lovely heat rash under them which I'm currently staving off with  Zinc Oxide.

To keep with my promise I made this year below you'll find three photo's of me over the course of this morning. Honestly, I've had a little cry because the pain has just floored me. My back, pelvic area, ovaries, abdomen, just everything is so sore. I'm hoping that this all just means that my body is still regulating itself as I am off treatment at the moment.

Feeling completely overwhelmed 8:00 a.m

Meltdown over. 

Exhausted and fed up 9:15 a.m

Please, I just need a little break 10:43a.m

OK, I had to take a break there. Using my breathing techniques after I had a little outburst. Sometimes, although I try to stay positive in my mind my situation just drowns me so releasing that energy and letting it go rather than bottling it up is the best way I've found to deal when this happens. It's not a regular occurance because I do tend to let things build in my head (which I'm working on) but dealing with it, just recognizing the emotions I feel is a much healthier way of coping.

So I am once again partially horizontal, attempting to study but honestly can't concentrate. Irritated and frustrated but I am reminded time and time again that it's only temporary. Just like a storm this too shall pass.
Meanwhile, I will read, try to nap and hope I feel a bit better later on. Looking forward to seeing my Mum this evening. The weather is looking good enough for a BBQ and of course the World Cup final is on. Mum is up for Germany, Rodney Argentina so that in itself will be entertaining for me.

Summery blue toenails. Cramped and swollen legs elevated now.

My wonderful boyfriend Rodney is starting his holidays today and I'm looking forward to spending some quality time together. I don't care if it rains.

Wishing you all a lovely, restful Sunday. Love to my endo Sisters and thank you for all of your kind words and support.

XxxX