Now we wait

Monday just gone we had our OBGYN appointment to follow up with how I got on with the Clomid etc.

Luckily I actually got to see a Doctor I know from a previous appointment so there wasn't the usual nonsense of explaining every single detail from the past eight years or so.

We discussed the fact that I am not willing at the minute to continue with the Clomid due to the side effects. For me personally it has caused an increase in my anxiety and panic attacks which is in no way going to aid with the TTC so moving one for now.

The Doc performed an internal exam and concluded that the existing cyst on my right ovary may have grown since the scan in February so the scan will need to be repeated to see if indeed it has grown, if there's another cyst or if it's actually an Endo growth. Fun times!

I got the appointment this morning and due to the back log in the Ultrasound Dept. I won't be getting that scan until 05th November 2012. It does seem like a long time to wait especially as my right and left "sides" (ovaries) are causing a lot of pelvic pain which only began with the second round of Clomid but which has stayed even though I'm nearly two cycles off the treatment.

In the meantime however if things get really bad I've to do the usual. For me that means wait and wait and wait and wait a little bit more until I absolutely physically can't stand the pain any more and then I might just present at A and E. It sounds very careless of me I realise to wait so long when things get really bad. But, I've never been in a situation where I have not been admitted to hospital after presenting at the Emergency Dept. Now, this is more than likely due to the fact that I do wait so very long before giving in and going into the hospital but I generally think that the pain or discomfort will just pass and due to the nature of the chronic pain situation I need to be pretty bad to present as I have quite a high pain tolerance.

Anyway, will I learn my lesson? Perhaps. Or maybe I'll continue to stick it out as long as I can. After all "giving in" to this disease doesn't make me feel any better so I'll fight it tooth and nail if needs be.

A new circle has begun for us. We are still very positive and truly believe that when the times right things will happen. For now, we wait and see.

As a wise woman once told me "What's for you won't pass you".