Even the orchid has an Endo face...

pinterst.com

During the night the pain began. Slowly at first, just a small ache. Nothing to moan about. Gradually, the pain increases. I can feel it right down to my ankles which are now swollen. I elevate my legs for a time before attempting to go about my day. I think I manage pretty well, getting study done, some household chores and I even manage to gett my wall art up before I start feeling that overwhelming tiredness. The fatigue appears as if from nowhere, yet I know it's been building. My legs are sore and my ovaries are beginning to pull. It's time to get my water, pillows and a nice cup of tea. I settle in, as comfortable as I can get and manage to write up an assignment.

ladycarehealth.com (I'll let you know if this works for me)

As I am writing this post I am somewhat horizontal, packed up with pillows and cushions to keep my legs elevated (courtesy of Rodney). Dinner has just been made, which I can't even eat because I'm so bloated and uncomfortable there just isn't any appetite there. A movie "Afterlife" (fairly decent) is about to go on before we watch Brazil -v- Holland (I've a soft spot for the Dutch) play for third place in the World Cup, which of course they win.I have taken painkillers of course but we're all used to our usual merrigoround with Endo. Keeping myself calm and trying to remain relaxed is the key for me here so the pain doesn't take hold.

strikerno9.blogspot.com

Hoping to have a BBQ tomorrow, with my Mum coming over to watch the final game of the World Cup with us (Germany -v- Argentina, Ozil -v- Messi,) I've promised Rodney I'll cheer for Argentina although if Ozil does score I will be quite pleased. Let's hope it's a fair and intersting game.

Being completely restless I decided to watch "Cracks" after falling in love with Eva Green as you do when you watch Penny Dreadful.

thegeekiary.com

I must say she's only continued to get better with each role I've seen her in.Yes, I know I'm not really discussing Endo here but one can only attempt to describe pain so much until it becomes upsetting. I found the following on twitter and just had to share it with you lovely ladies.

(twitter.com)

I will wrap this ramble up with a goodnight to you all as the clock approaches 1:00 a.m. Beyond tired now I will head to bed, sit the pillow under my legs and read my latest JD. Robb until sleep comes. 

Till tomorrow, football and hopefully a less painful day.

XxxX

Hope, strength and an Endoplation

Many of you are trying to conceive, some of you may have already so congratulations. For the rest who wonder if we'll ever experience that particular joy my advice is to keep your chin up. Almost every other day I see women on my support groups announcing their pregnancies and continuing to support and wish the rest of us luck. There is one thing we can all hold onto through our difficult times whether or not your aim is to become pregnant. There still remains;

The bonds we have created because of and in a way despite this illness are incredibly strong. Most of us will never meet face to face but we outline the most intimate details of our lives. Why? Because it's not giving out, complaining or moaning. Simply swapping information with someone who is going through or has gone through what you may be experiencing at that particular point in their life. However, sometimes explaining to people can be a right pain. How do you make others understand?


Whilst browsing through my usual support group pages I came across this photo and thought I'd share it on with you all. It gives a really good explanation of Endo or Endoplation if you will, what we go through and comes very close I think to describing how it feels. Please, take a moment to read it, share with your partner or familial support. Maybe even that friend who doesn't quite "get it". I believe this is a very powerful statement and by educating people we can hope to not only create awareness but perhaps even to help some other women get diagnosed. Who knows?

Ours is a battle. A constant, uphill struggle. Yet many of the women I have met with this illness are among the strongest I know. We can cope with a lot more than we give ourselves credit for and while the emotional pain of infertility can't be overlooked we strive to fight on.

Love to my Endo Sister's as always,

XxxX

Ah insomnia, how are you?

As I mentioned earlier I've been having a bit if a rough day. I didn't really sleep at all last night and today I felt so sore and my muscles felt so heavy that I knew I was over tired aswell.

So I took my nighttime medications around 20:45 thereabouts and nothing. No relief nor hint of the sweet release of sleep
 I feel like a snake curled up, head in the air, ready to strike. My Mum has been absolutely fantastic today. She never makes me feel guilty when my Endo flares up and I can't do basic chores. She actually told me to "stop saying sorry". Do as you're told I guess.

Anyway, I digress. Here are some photos of my"Endo face ",  taken about two hours ago".

Stay strong my Sisters. Love you all. XxxxX

Family Support

I have mentioned before in my posts how important I feel it is to have support from your family while going through the mind blowing, body ripping, emotionally draining fight that can be Endometriosis.
Now I say "family" but this dynamic can come in all shapes and forms. You don't need to be blood related to be family.

Family to me are the people who love you unconditionally but will put you up on your bull without qualms. They are the ones who will comfort you and laugh wildly with you at inappropriate things. They never judge you, but accept you for who you are and you likewise them.

For me, my family are the ones who I can be 100% open with. I'm not afraid of who I am with them. My illness is not a seen as a weakness but when I have bad days there us no guilt there. I guess it's acceptance of who I am, entirely. My quirky sense of humour, shyness, choice language and intense passion for Rugby are all parts that join up to make me the person I am and to not have to answer for that is to feel safe and wanted.

It makes going through this battle with my body more bearable. When I feel as if the pain will never end and like pieces of me are literally being torn apart. When I'm burning up or passing out or my legs refuse to hold me anymore because all of me energy is focused on getting past this, getting through and for me avoiding the hospital because I am sick and tired of the "routine", knowing I have the love and understanding of my family, my supporters, the people I would trust with my life really does make all the difference for me.

Even if you only have one person that you feel this way about. It's one person who completely understands you and accepts you for you and that is priceless.

Happy International Women's Day

Happy International Women's day to all of my female friends, home and away, new and old.

It's strange in a way to think that in this day and age with all of the technology at our disposal that we do not yet have a clear way of detecting Endometriosis early on.

Millions of Women are suffering in silence with this illness. Well, this year that's going to change. This year we will speak up, our voices will be heard and we will end the silence.

What is more disturbing however is how a lot of women are still treated as second class citizens. Whether it's in the workplace, society or through an outdated viewpoint. There is no need for this inequality and if only for one moment today, please think about it.

I will be back with longer posts, it's just been a crazy week. We'll done to the EAI today for holding their March Event for endometriosis awareness. As always, much live to my Endo Sister's. Stay strong. Xxxx