Hope, strength and an Endoplation

Many of you are trying to conceive, some of you may have already so congratulations. For the rest who wonder if we'll ever experience that particular joy my advice is to keep your chin up. Almost every other day I see women on my support groups announcing their pregnancies and continuing to support and wish the rest of us luck. There is one thing we can all hold onto through our difficult times whether or not your aim is to become pregnant. There still remains;

The bonds we have created because of and in a way despite this illness are incredibly strong. Most of us will never meet face to face but we outline the most intimate details of our lives. Why? Because it's not giving out, complaining or moaning. Simply swapping information with someone who is going through or has gone through what you may be experiencing at that particular point in their life. However, sometimes explaining to people can be a right pain. How do you make others understand?


Whilst browsing through my usual support group pages I came across this photo and thought I'd share it on with you all. It gives a really good explanation of Endo or Endoplation if you will, what we go through and comes very close I think to describing how it feels. Please, take a moment to read it, share with your partner or familial support. Maybe even that friend who doesn't quite "get it". I believe this is a very powerful statement and by educating people we can hope to not only create awareness but perhaps even to help some other women get diagnosed. Who knows?

Ours is a battle. A constant, uphill struggle. Yet many of the women I have met with this illness are among the strongest I know. We can cope with a lot more than we give ourselves credit for and while the emotional pain of infertility can't be overlooked we strive to fight on.

Love to my Endo Sister's as always,

XxxX

Pushing people away? We should be pulling them closer.

So for the past six weeks I have not stopped bleeding. I went through Primolut N, Cerazette, Cyklokapron and then Primolut N again.
I feel a little in the dark here as I don't know what's going to work for me.

My G.P informs me that if it doesn't stop I must present to casualty. I am severely anemic despite taking Iron supplements and eating Iron rich food, so tired, irritable, having leg cramps and unreal pain in my abdomen especially my left side where the OBGYN found a cyst at the start of the year but my next scan is not until July. I already had a cyst on my ovary rupture approximately eight weeks ago. But once the pain subsided I felt OK. I did not attend A&E this time as these cysts pop quite regularly and by the time I get to Emergency there is very little they can do and all they see on the Ultrasound is the membrane from the cyst.

I have found that throughout my battle with Endo that no matter how difficult things get, we must push through. It's not the easiest thing to do at all and sometimes you literally want to curl up until the pain goes away as, well for me anyway, there's no pain relief to be found when I am having a bad Endo day.

That day is today and despite wanting to be around people and have a cuddle from someone I'm also very hormonal and irritable. I can't make up my mind whether I want company or to be alone so I'm not asked every half hour how I'm doing or people telling me "you don't look well, you're in pain aren't you?" I know they are concerned and trying to help but I find it hard to actually let people help me with my Endo.

Sometimes I feel it's something I have to fight on my own and essentially it is. But I can be quite dismissive when my family and other half are trying to help me, soother me and comfort me. I can get quite annoyed. It's not even that they would claim to understand what I'm feeling (although my Mum would have an idea having had Endo herself) it's just that they feel helpless, I feel helpless and this situation does not help anyone.

I'm sure many Women have gone or are going through similar situations. It's all about finding that inner strength to let people in and realize that although we may be battling this and the pain and discomfort is happening to us does not mean that we don't all need a bit of support does it?

We need to let those that genuinely want to help into our lives and stop thinking it's something we can control, fight/ease on our own.

As always my Sisters stay strong, feel free to comment and share how you are supported through this fight.