Even the orchid has an Endo face...

pinterst.com

During the night the pain began. Slowly at first, just a small ache. Nothing to moan about. Gradually, the pain increases. I can feel it right down to my ankles which are now swollen. I elevate my legs for a time before attempting to go about my day. I think I manage pretty well, getting study done, some household chores and I even manage to gett my wall art up before I start feeling that overwhelming tiredness. The fatigue appears as if from nowhere, yet I know it's been building. My legs are sore and my ovaries are beginning to pull. It's time to get my water, pillows and a nice cup of tea. I settle in, as comfortable as I can get and manage to write up an assignment.

ladycarehealth.com (I'll let you know if this works for me)

As I am writing this post I am somewhat horizontal, packed up with pillows and cushions to keep my legs elevated (courtesy of Rodney). Dinner has just been made, which I can't even eat because I'm so bloated and uncomfortable there just isn't any appetite there. A movie "Afterlife" (fairly decent) is about to go on before we watch Brazil -v- Holland (I've a soft spot for the Dutch) play for third place in the World Cup, which of course they win.I have taken painkillers of course but we're all used to our usual merrigoround with Endo. Keeping myself calm and trying to remain relaxed is the key for me here so the pain doesn't take hold.

strikerno9.blogspot.com

Hoping to have a BBQ tomorrow, with my Mum coming over to watch the final game of the World Cup with us (Germany -v- Argentina, Ozil -v- Messi,) I've promised Rodney I'll cheer for Argentina although if Ozil does score I will be quite pleased. Let's hope it's a fair and intersting game.

Being completely restless I decided to watch "Cracks" after falling in love with Eva Green as you do when you watch Penny Dreadful.

thegeekiary.com

I must say she's only continued to get better with each role I've seen her in.Yes, I know I'm not really discussing Endo here but one can only attempt to describe pain so much until it becomes upsetting. I found the following on twitter and just had to share it with you lovely ladies.

(twitter.com)

I will wrap this ramble up with a goodnight to you all as the clock approaches 1:00 a.m. Beyond tired now I will head to bed, sit the pillow under my legs and read my latest JD. Robb until sleep comes. 

Till tomorrow, football and hopefully a less painful day.

XxxX

A shout out to my Supporters

Recently I've noticed on Facebook a trend on some of the Endometriosis Support Groups to have a "shout out" to your biggest supporter. It's a fantastic idea and a greatway to let your lived ones, friends, family whoever really, fur babies included that you acknowledge and appreciate their support whether your at the beginning, middle or end of your journey with this illness.

I know sometimes. I get caught up with different things and especially when I'm having a bad time with my Endo I can forget about what my family might need.

Honestly my biggest supporters have to be my Mum and Vicky. Mum has been there with me all of the way since age 11, all the way through the tests, the surgeries, the treatments and of course at times the somewhat painful, uncomfortable and degrading side effects.



How she put up with me when I was going through rounds of Clomid I'll never know. I was a hormonal mess. Between that Decadently and Depo Provera shots, HRT, trips to A&E, hospital stays, countless hot water bottles, discovering the electric heat pad for me. kindness, love and encouragement. I think the Woman  deserves an award. My Mum means the entire world to be and there is.no possible way I'll ever be able to thank her for everything.g she has done for me and for everything.g she will do for me. I categorically live her with every fibre of my bring and truly believe she's entitled to a shoutout for everything she has sacrificed to make sure I'm well and rake care of. She doesn't let it show too much how difficult it is fir her to watch me go through pain and I know she feels helpless but that kiss, that cuddle, the hug every morning and the love you every night. That's what get you through. I try my best to make her proud and be strong for her and Vicks.

Vicky is like a breath of fresh air. She was about 12 when I first attended the hospital and I do recall her very kindly help.g me ti shower the day I came home from surgery. She even shaved my legs. Fond memory. :-) it's silly things.g's that I remember, that I'll hold onto. Vicks always listens to me, gives some amazing advice and is growing into an incredible young woman. She very sweetly offered to be my surrogate if I ever got to that point. The thing is I know she would actually do that for me. We have a bond that transcends time and space



I don't tell her often enough how unbelievably proud I am of her and her accomplishments to date. She will most definitely leave her mark on this world. You just can't be around and not feel happy.
The first time I saw her I felt an overwhelming surge of live for this tiny being. I took her hand and she held my thumb so tightly that it was there, in that very moment we bonded. Our twin souls had found each other again. she is my Bobi and I her Pipi. Only we know what that means. We have our very own language and the five years between us that once seemed do monstrous a gap is no just the blink of an eye. So she too deserves a shout put. For all the times I was anf will be moody, snappy and too sarky I love you Bobi for loving me and never once making me feel like damaged goods.

You help build my confidence and make me believe in who I am. I could go on c and on really but I must stop.

I am so lucky to have these two strong. Beautiful. Intelligent women on my life.

So thank you!

XxxxX

The Three Musketeers 13th March 2014
Million Women March for Endometriosis

Mum and I with a somewhat blurry Coco.

My Bobi and I. Cuddles! Always makes me feel better. Endo had a good hold on me at this point but Vicks is keeping me smiling here.


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Just before Christmas 2013. Vicks and I being silly and makeup free.When we get hyper it's like being a kid again with her. I hope that never goes away.

Take a deep breath and place bot feet firmly on the ground. Tap into that natural raw energy from the Earth, draw on it and face each day as it comes.

Pushing people away? We should be pulling them closer.

So for the past six weeks I have not stopped bleeding. I went through Primolut N, Cerazette, Cyklokapron and then Primolut N again.
I feel a little in the dark here as I don't know what's going to work for me.

My G.P informs me that if it doesn't stop I must present to casualty. I am severely anemic despite taking Iron supplements and eating Iron rich food, so tired, irritable, having leg cramps and unreal pain in my abdomen especially my left side where the OBGYN found a cyst at the start of the year but my next scan is not until July. I already had a cyst on my ovary rupture approximately eight weeks ago. But once the pain subsided I felt OK. I did not attend A&E this time as these cysts pop quite regularly and by the time I get to Emergency there is very little they can do and all they see on the Ultrasound is the membrane from the cyst.

I have found that throughout my battle with Endo that no matter how difficult things get, we must push through. It's not the easiest thing to do at all and sometimes you literally want to curl up until the pain goes away as, well for me anyway, there's no pain relief to be found when I am having a bad Endo day.

That day is today and despite wanting to be around people and have a cuddle from someone I'm also very hormonal and irritable. I can't make up my mind whether I want company or to be alone so I'm not asked every half hour how I'm doing or people telling me "you don't look well, you're in pain aren't you?" I know they are concerned and trying to help but I find it hard to actually let people help me with my Endo.

Sometimes I feel it's something I have to fight on my own and essentially it is. But I can be quite dismissive when my family and other half are trying to help me, soother me and comfort me. I can get quite annoyed. It's not even that they would claim to understand what I'm feeling (although my Mum would have an idea having had Endo herself) it's just that they feel helpless, I feel helpless and this situation does not help anyone.

I'm sure many Women have gone or are going through similar situations. It's all about finding that inner strength to let people in and realize that although we may be battling this and the pain and discomfort is happening to us does not mean that we don't all need a bit of support does it?

We need to let those that genuinely want to help into our lives and stop thinking it's something we can control, fight/ease on our own.

As always my Sisters stay strong, feel free to comment and share how you are supported through this fight.